We finally met Tim and Biniyam!
The rest of the cast was rounded out on 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way Season 2 Episode 5, when we met the final couple we hadn’t seen and Ariela’s better half.
Are we placing bets on who is going to last and who isn’t? Because, a girl has some thoughts.
Let’s go over some of the highlights and hilariouslights of the latest installment!
Blame It On the A-A-A-A-A-Alcohol
Well, Brittany and Yazan’s reunion was the antithesis of “fun” and “heartwarming.” Things got hot, but not in any of the good ways.
The pair went from zero to 100 over Brittany hugging crew members (I mean, is that a typical occurrence?) and flashing around a bottle of Patron the size of a toddler.
She claimed it was about her being herself and her culture or customs or something, but I didn’t know a staple of American culture was getting Turnt.
Pick Fights, Not Flowers
Can we all agree that Brittany totally and deliberately picked a whole fight with Yazan so she wouldn’t have to tell him her divorce isn’t finalized yet?
She accused him of stifling her, alluded that he’s like her possibly abusive ex, complained that she always has to respect his culture but he doesn’t respect hers.
She did this while reminding him that she’s American, even though, you know, they’re in JORDAN now, so “when in Jordan” and all that good stuff. And then pulled out the tears and got mad at him before he could get upset with her, thus making him head home instead of talking.
Well played, Brittany. Brittany won that round, you guys.
Just Jihoon Things …
Jihoon was in peak Jihoon form. What this time? Oh, you know, not bothering to pack until an hour before he was supposed to head to the airport to meet Deavan and co.
Jihoon is like a toddler in a man’s body. His parents watched in some warped amusement as their grown-ass son balled up his shirts and threw them in plastic bags. Honestly, why is he like this?
Oh yeah, and apparently, it never crossed his mind to go check out that apartment Deavan rented for a month, so he’s going to be just as surprised as everyone else at the dump he’ll be staying in.
Could Tim BE Any More White-Bred?
Yes, Tim brought out the Chandler Bing. Don’t judge. They introduced us to one of the newest couples, and Tim AKA “Cheesestick” is the personification of every white-bread stereotype you can think of, bless his heart.
Mr. Texas, by way of Alabama, by way of Iowa is the Poster Child for both Middle America and the heartland, and he’s a total goof, but also so endearing you kind of want to squeeze him like the Pillsbury Dough Boy or something.
Man, it’s going to be fun to watch this man attempt to live in Colombia.
Ma’am, He’s My Emotional Support Cat
Tim’s story took you on a ride from colossal law-abiding goof, to teen angst phase, to sweater dad vibes.
He did a bid of 28 whole days in jail during his delinquent phase, has an emotional support cat named Pepe, and he’s an ‘ass man.” You can’t make this stuff up.
Aside from appreciating her, um, assets, Tim does genuinely seem to love Melyza. They’ve been together for some time now. And the Colombian au pair appears to be serious about him too, well, she was until he effed up.
Kenny’s Box of Secrets
I literally only put this picture in so we could all zoom in on Kenny’s entire bin of hair care and skincare products.
Break it down, Kenneth. What do you have in there?
The blood of virgins? Sweat from newborn babies? A vial of sparkly water from the fountain of youth?
Show us your secrets, you immortal Zaddy!
The Way My Allergies Are Set Up
So, Kenny and Armando are going to keep tag-teaming viewers to see who can make our eyeballs leak the most, eh?
Kenny saying goodbye to his precious, perfect brood of kids and his grandson in a scene reminiscent of a child leaving their childhood home, bound for college, felt like a scene ripped from whatever is the more inclusive version of a Hallmark movie.
When Kenny cries; we all cry.
Youngest Child Syndrome
Finally, we met Biniyam and heard his side of things. Anyone else curious about how his parents died from some mysterious illness of which he knows little?
If he’s living in a one-bedroom home with his brother and sister-in-law, then where is Ariela going to live? Are they going to find a place together when she gets there? Ariela’s mom is going to be in full-blown judge mode.
Jack of All Trades, Master of “Falling on the Bed”
Ariela wasn’t kidding about Biniyam having multiple jobs since he’s a personal trainer, a professional dancer at a nightclub, and also an MMA fighter.
Don’t Trust the American
It sounds exhaustive, but it didn’t stop him from making some moves on Ariela when he met her and knocking her up. Does anyone else want to hear more about his first wife who got pregnant and bounced, taking his baby away from him never to be seen again?
Biniyam’s friends are concerned, and given that history, their concerns are totes valid.
A SoujaBoy/Baby Cool Collaboration
In addition to all of his other stuff, Biniyam is also pursuing a musical career. He’s still new and doesn’t have an album, but in the event all of this falls through, who wouldn’t give for a Biniyam and Usman musical collaboration?
A 90 Day Tell-All Musical. Gimme.
These Are My Confessions
Just when we thought we wouldn’t find out why Tim feels like he has to move to Colombia instead of Melyza coming back to the states, and it sounds as though he’s trying to salvage what’s left of his relationship with her, he confessed.
Tim cheated on Melyza with a colleague. Whew. Plot twist.
Just kidding, that was not that shocking, the real plot twist is that his own friends were lowkey calling him trash and Team Melyza. Ah, the joys of having female friends who don’t mince words, and I right, fellas?
The bad news is I’m not entirely sure if it came down to picking sides, Tim’s friends will choose him.
The best news to come out of all of this is that Tim’s friends really love Melyza and wanted to fight him on her behalf for being so cruel, so if she’s “homie-approved” then this relationship is somewhat legit, right?
Timmy, you got a lot of making up to do, bub.
Deavan, Babe, Pick a Struggle
Sure, Deavan has been on a flight with her mom, an infant, and Druscilla the Rambunctious for probably a full day or more. It’s rough.
But Deavan getting pissed off that Jihoon brought his parents to the airport with him to meet her mom is asinine. How do you get mad about basic decency?
Grow Up, Elicia!
Move outta the way, la familia de Chantel, Elicia is coming for you guys’ crown for being the most ignorant, loud, stereotypical, rude American to bitch about another country .3964 seconds after landing.
Was it the constant “f-bombs?” Was it the hollering about the Koreans she was sharing a car with, in, you know, Korea, speaking, you know, Korean?
Was it the theatrics and bitching out Jihoon’s mom over her driving skills? Was it the way she pettily bear-hugged Jihoon’s parents after whining about how sweaty and gross she was?
Was it her and Deavan’s extreme impatience when they were trying to plug the address to the apartment into the GPS? Was it how she cussed and whined about how “dirty” and gross everything was?
Ah, it was all of the above. If Deavan thinks everyone is supposed to tiptoe around her obnoxious mother’s feelings, it’s going to be drama. But then, this is the same woman who gets mad at other people for reacting to the fact that she doesn’t know how to discipline her rowdy toddler.
“Siri, how do you say ‘The Ghetto’ in Korean?”
Let the record show that DEAVAN was the one who rented this apartment for her and their family. Something tells me this fact will be lost when Elicia tears Jihoon a new one.
God speed, bro. You’re going to need it.
Over to you, 90 Day Fanatics! Was Elicia being over the top? Should Brittany have respected Yazan’s culture and religion?
Did you miss Jenny and Sumit? What do you think of Tim and Melyza? Which couples do you see lasting? Hit the comments below.
You can watch 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way online here via TV Fanatic for all the laughs and drama.
Jasmine Blu is a senior staff writer for TV Fanatic. Follow her on Twitter.