Pamela Anderson Recalls Being ‘Painfully Shy’ Before Posing For ‘Playboy’: ‘I Hated The Way I Looked, I Hated Everything’

Celeb TV

By Becca Longmire.

Pamela Anderson tells ET Canada how first posing for Playboy back in 1989 allowed her to take her power back.

The actress speaks to Morgan Hoffman in a “One-on-One” special Friday night about being “painfully shy” before she appeared on the cover of the iconic magazine.

Anderson recalls, “The shyness was something that was so debilitating. When I was little, I would wear a hat over my head and pull the hole closed so I could only see out this much.

“I hated the way I looked, I hated everything. I was so shy and I always thought everybody was pretty and I just didn’t have that confidence or self-confidence.

“Then I was in Vancouver and Playboy approached me a few times and I said no. Finally I was in a situation and thought ‘Why not? Let me try this.’ Then I got to L.A. and I was horrified,” admitting she was overcome with adrenaline and being scared.

Anderson continues, “Then I did my first photo shoot with Playboy… it was the first flash when I opened my eyes and it felt like I was falling off a cliff. It really felt like I was just… allowing, instead of trying to control. And it was my first feeling of freedom.

“Then I was off to the races,” she adds, insisting she wanted her sexual being to be on her terms after having bad sexual experiences when she was younger.

READ MORE: Pamela Anderson’s Memoir Lands On New York Times Bestseller List: ‘Dreams Do Come True, Never Give Up’

Hoffman then mentions that Anderson had recently spoken about having “spidey senses” not to stay in the Playboy mansion, choosing to stay in a hotel instead.

Anderson recalls how she got into a “little bit” of trouble when she previously commented on the #MeToo movement and suggested at the time women need to protect themselves a little more.

She tells us: “But I think hardship qualifies,” commenting on anyone who has been in a situation where you’ve had to make a choice.

“I’ve always had that sixth sense,” Anderson says, insisting she just knew not to stay at the famous mansion, also recalling a time when she chose to remove herself from a potentially worrying situation with a photographer when he told her it’d just be the two of them on a photoshoot in Hawaii.

Anderson told a stewardess, who arranged for her to fly home free of charge.

She adds that she’s listened to the “red flags” “multiple times.”

READ MORE: Pamela Anderson Was In Tears While Watching Her Tell-All Doc Alone: ‘I Only Got Through Maybe Half Of It’

Hoffman also reads some poetry from the “Baywatch” star’s memoir, Love, Pamela, with a line stating: “My dreams often come true, a curse and a blessing.”

Anderson, who released her new Netflix documentary “Pamela, a love story” at the same time as her book on Jan. 31, says of what would be her biggest curse and blessing: “Well, you manifest, you are your thoughts. I really strongly believe that. I’ve had things in my life that were painful, where I’ve wished something, especially when I was little.

“I had a difficult situation when I was young… I had a babysitter that was not a good person and did horrible things to me. I wished that she’d die, and she did. So I thought I killed her with my magical mind. So, I was always very careful of my thoughts. I couldn’t tell my parents then for sure, I thought I’d murdered somebody with my mind.”

With the star now having a decades-long career, she’s also become someone that people dress up as for Halloween over the years.

Anderson says, “It’s weird because I feel like I’ve been observing my life as an outsider, it’s just one Halloween costume after another. I think what’s great about the documentary and the book, I hope is that I feel more like a person now and not like a cartoon character, so it’s nice,” adding that she is “honoured and flattered” when people dress up as her.

Tune in to “One-On-One With Pamela Anderson” tonight at 7:30pm ET/7pm MT on Global, and stream live and on demand on STACKTV and the Global TV App.

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