Pamela Anderson tells ET Canada how first posing for Playboy back in 1989 allowed her to take her power back.
The actress speaks to Morgan Hoffman in a “One-on-One” special Friday night about being “painfully shy” before she appeared on the cover of the iconic magazine.
Anderson recalls, “The shyness was something that was so debilitating. When I was little, I would wear a hat over my head and pull the hole closed so I could only see out this much.
“I hated the way I looked, I hated everything. I was so shy and I always thought everybody was pretty and I just didn’t have that confidence or self-confidence.
“Then I was in Vancouver and Playboy approached me a few times and I said no. Finally I was in a situation and thought ‘Why not? Let me try this.’ Then I got to L.A. and I was horrified,” admitting she was overcome with adrenaline and being scared.
Anderson continues, “Then I did my first photo shoot with Playboy… it was the first flash when I opened my eyes and it felt like I was falling off a cliff. It really felt like I was just… allowing, instead of trying to control. And it was my first feeling of freedom.
“Then I was off to the races,” she adds, insisting she wanted her sexual being to be on her terms after having bad sexual experiences when she was younger.
READ MORE: Pamela Anderson’s Memoir Lands On New York Times Bestseller List: ‘Dreams Do Come True, Never Give Up’
Hoffman then mentions that Anderson had recently spoken about having “spidey senses” not to stay in the Playboy mansion, choosing to stay in a hotel instead.
Anderson recalls how she got into a “little bit” of trouble when she previously commented on the #MeToo movement and suggested at the time women need to protect themselves a little more.
She tells us: “But I think hardship qualifies,” commenting on anyone who has been in a situation where you’ve had to make a choice.
“I’ve always had that sixth sense,” Anderson says, insisting she just knew not to stay at the famous mansion, also recalling a time when she chose to remove herself from a potentially worrying situation with a photographer when he told her it’d just be the two of them on a photoshoot in Hawaii.
Anderson told a stewardess, who arranged for her to fly home free of charge.
She adds that she’s listened to the “red flags” “multiple times.”
READ MORE: Pamela Anderson Was In Tears While Watching Her Tell-All Doc Alone: ‘I Only Got Through Maybe Half Of It’
Hoffman also reads some poetry from the “Baywatch” star’s memoir, Love, Pamela, with a line stating: “My dreams often come true, a curse and a blessing.”
Anderson, who released her new Netflix documentary “Pamela, a love story” at the same time as her book on Jan. 31, says of what would be her biggest curse and blessing: “Well, you manifest, you are your thoughts. I really strongly believe that. I’ve had things in my life that were painful, where I’ve wished something, especially when I was little.
“I had a difficult situation when I was young… I had a babysitter that was not a good person and did horrible things to me. I wished that she’d die, and she did. So I thought I killed her with my magical mind. So, I was always very careful of my thoughts. I couldn’t tell my parents then for sure, I thought I’d murdered somebody with my mind.”
With the star now having a decades-long career, she’s also become someone that people dress up as for Halloween over the years.
Anderson says, “It’s weird because I feel like I’ve been observing my life as an outsider, it’s just one Halloween costume after another. I think what’s great about the documentary and the book, I hope is that I feel more like a person now and not like a cartoon character, so it’s nice,” adding that she is “honoured and flattered” when people dress up as her.
Tune in to “One-On-One With Pamela Anderson” tonight at 7:30pm ET/7pm MT on Global, and stream live and on demand on STACKTV and the Global TV App.