High-cut swimsuits are generally pretty flattering, lengthening the leg appealingly as exposing a bit more skin to the sun for bonus vitamin D production.
But there’s high cut, and then there’s highly silly.
This minuscule scrap of fabric costs £40, and for that you can just about have all the important bits of your body covered.
As long as you don’t move, or eat, or breathe. And, above all, long as you don’t swim.
“Can’t decide what’s worse, the cut or the print”
The one-piece number by Jaded London and stocked in Topshop – which is described as having a “high leg design” drew widespread ridicule from Twitter users, who wondered who would wear such a ridiculous piece of swimwear, where, and why.
Journalist Eleanor Turney spoke for us all when she said: “What the everlasting f*** is this?”
Jenny Landreth, also a journalist and perhaps more importantly an author of two books about swimming, was similarly dismissive, saying: “Laughing my actual head off at the thought of turning up to swim training in this.”
Dozens of people pitched in with withering assessments of the design fail. One Twitter called it “genuinely distressing” while another wryly described it as “gynaecologically unsound.”
One creative soul even speculated that it might make a nice hat for a rabbit
Regrettably, no amount of mockery will prevent this bizarre non-garment from making Topshop a fair amount of money. It’ll only take one would-be starlet wearing it on Love Island to turn it into the default swimsuit of the summer.
And at £40 a pop for a few square inches of fabric, the profit margin must be pretty healthy.